People hurt us. Unconsciously or consciously, we get hurt.
In order to forgive, really forgive, we need to try and stop identifying ourselves with the suffering caused. It’s easy to feel the cause and effect of anothers’ action. “They did that to me resulting in this….” But it’s more than that.
Many times people don’t know they are hurting others. They are so self-absorbed and self-focused they do things unaware of the consequences to others. Currently I see so many people in a fog of numbness or a swell of survival. In the last day I’ve seen two people drive through a red light, completely unaware. Fortunately, oncoming traffic was far enough away to avoid any crash. People are emotionally exhausted and I hear more talk about what kind of jobs people can get override what they actually want to do. We are in a duck and cover mode of operation. It is easy for the hurts to emerge and the anger about how someone or something outside of myself had thrown me off my road. It is easy to get angry at those perceived to stop up, keep us down, or wrongly take actions that have altered our future.
So what does it take to forgive? What perspective can serve me?
If I believe I am the world I walk through, that I see the world as I am, for my conscious awareness, then why would there be a victim? How could there? I believe that life reflects me back to me like a mirror. This awareness has served me well. Even when that reflection does not fit my pictures I know there is only on thing happening…nothing outside of myself. I see the world as I am not as it is.
I have never looked back in my life and thought “I have learned nothing from that.” Not to say I haven’t had traumatic experiences. Experiences that I am still feeling the emotional repercussions from. But I stand today knowing that those people were not doing TO ME. We all have our paths, our journeys, our experiences. We are all part of each others learning scenario. It is not personal—it never is really. It’s a dance…we are all players. People and experiences so up for GOOD. There is no other way of the universe. We as humans have the ability, and predisposition to filter, choose, spin, manipulate, judge, etc. What if we lived these moments saying “it is what it is” and move on. Knowing the perfection of the “all of it”. What if we truly saw ourselves in one interdependent and connected web? We would see the “I” in the homeless man, or the corporate embezzler or the Maya Angelou, or lonely child.
We are connected to all of it. When we shed tears for others we are in touch with that spiritual fact.