I hadn’t eaten all day. Thinking how I wanted something to eat I started going through a menu of possibilities in my head as I drove by resteraunts and shops on my way home. Nothing captured my attention. No…um no….no…..I thought…..I drove by a bagel shop, Barbette, and then approaches the last place on my way home, Lunds, (a local small grocery store). I decided to go home without stopping for anything, in fact, not eating. This made me think–hmmm. I was hungry but still I chose to not eat.
So….What’s interesting here to me? I’ve been in places in my life, not so long ago, where I was totally broke. To the point when I didn’t have money to stop and get food whenever I felt hungry. I thought back on that time, desperately waiting for the scraps from a friends’ sandwich.
I thought about how having money and credit to buy what I wanted, actually gave me the freedom to not spending any of it! I remember that knawing desperate feeling, loud hungry, emptying into a pit in my stomach driving me crazy with desire.
I thought how having the money to buy what i wanted actually gave me the freedom to not want anything. When I was broke I wanted IT more—-so much so that it hurt. Knowing I had a choice really changed the experience. I felt so grateful, and at the same time, so scared to be in that place again. I have decided to purge–purge and lighten the load. Sell things, give things away, consume less, enjoy more experiences. See old friends, share with them the things they have taught me.