Family/Friends/Holidays: It’s your thanksgiving story

[kate pabst 2008]

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. A day to feel gratitude of where I’ve come to. I look around to the people around me that have made me who I am. The people who are a part of me. The high school janitors I had that so kindly opened the gym doors for me and turned on the lights in the early early mornings so I could shoots baskets alone for hours upon hours. Did they know they contributed to my college basketball scholarship which contributed to my schooling which contributed to my career which contributed to my masters degree I am currently pursuing which contributed to all the people I have interacted with past, present and future?

I make a point to tell those in my life who they are for me and what they have contributed to me. Occassionally, a few slip through the cracks, latent results not realized at the time. The saying “One person can make a difference ” sounds cliche´ I realize, but I’ve seen it proven again and again and again. We reflect ourselves in the experiences that manifest our life unfolding every day. We have choices each moment. What a powerful way to live life. AND a practice. It ain’t easy kid!

In the paradox world we take the good with the bad. We use the experience to understand ourselves.

So what? Well, I see my “teacher” today and practice and reflect how I’m being. This shows up as an person who instantly pushes or buttons, or someone in line at the market, or a family member, etc.  Without these teachers how would I be able to measure how I am living? It is a lesson for me—a reminder to choose.

This Thanksgiving, as all Holidays with families and old friends that are considered family, we are offered a choice. I look at the dynamics of old relationships at times and think how in need they are of upgrading sometimes. Others have so smoothly grown together like a perfect 3-legged race. I think at times how could someone who has known me so long, not know me at all. It has me question who I am and experience momentary identity crisis’. Then I snap out of it–look around at what I have created as my being has unfolded over the years and I know home. Ultimately, we speak ourselves everytime we open our mouths. I notice how much I get caught up in pleasing someone and trying to measure up to their expectations, only to realize they don’t even see me. They are talking to themselves…so wrapped up into their crisis’, missed opportunities, anger, resentment, guilt, past issues projecting, that I am not there. Moreso—I reflect them. In fact I’M not even there! Once I saw that I could let go and be gracious. Not react–not do anything with it. It’s never personal. NEVER. All of it supports my growth if I choose to see it and have it not mean anything. We are feeling beings–having it not mean anything is a massive challenge. After all, our EGOs more often than not rule the roost. To live in the freedom of letting go is to know peace…and love.

This all doesn’t mean we stay arround the bullshit. We have choices who we surround ourselves with. I choose to surround myself with supportive, loving people who are up to stuff in their lives. Ones who are interested in life and welcome it with open arms. I surround myself with souls that are easy to be with. Effortless relationship–a dance of the unknowing and constant discovery. Not to covet or dominate, but to understand, allow and learn from. To be soft, gentle, compassionate, allowing and loving. What else is there? It’s ok to let go of relationships that are not good for you. We come into each other life for a reason–and the timing is perfect for what we neeed to learn and see. It’s okay to outgrow friendships–they change over time. We each have our individual paths to walk. If it is not healthy and supportive, walk on. It’s ok! We will continue to have people enter and leave our lives. So many to meet! Arrange you life to support your intentions…every conversation, every interaction.

Lastly I’ll add:

Life is hard enough these days. We’re scared, exhaused, anxious and uncertain. We need all the love, acknowledgement and support we can get. Let’s help each other….we need each other more than we care to admit.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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2 thoughts on “Family/Friends/Holidays: It’s your thanksgiving story

  1. Happy Thanksgiving, Kate! What a splendid, thoughtful post. We do have people who are kind enough to reflect certain qualities for us, in spite of the fact that we might not like what they’re showing us at the time.
    I didn’t know you had a basketball scholarship! How very cool. And indeed that janitor was nice to let you in.

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